Christians are taught in the Bible to treat women with respect, honour and with dignity and men are equally to be treated right as well. But specifically, the Bible kicks against and warns about hurting a woman irrespective of any circumstance.
In today’s society, domestic violence and abuse against women are on the rampage and Christians must be reminded that the Bible warns against violence against women.
In Ephesians 5:25-28 the scripture instructs husbands to love their wives as themselves just like Christ loved the church and shed his blood for the redemption of man from sins.
This means that a man must be selfless in dealing with his wife, and every other woman around him. Letting go of personal gratification for the comfort of one’s wife is what Christ exemplified by dying on the cross of calvary for the justification of the Church.
What does the Bible say about Hurting a Woman?
The scripture doesn’t accept any form of maltreatment against the women, rather it instructs husbands in 1 Peter 3:7 to treat their wives with honor, respect and understanding, with the consciousness that they are weaker vessels.
With this, the Bible isn’t presenting women as being physically weak, not in character not in worth, but rather it shows their outward vulnerability with the need for optimum protection, care and love.
In this article, I will take us through scriptural references for women who have been hurt for their healing, those women that were hurt in the Bible and why women get hurt.
Whatever situation you may find yourself in, rest assured this piece will afford you the healing words from the Bible for your hurt and you will be healed and whole again
Consoling Bible Verses for Hurting Women
1. John 3:16
“For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life.
John 3:16 (ESV)
This Bible verse tells us how God unconditionally loves the church to the extent of sacrificing his only son for the redemption of man from his sins and condemnation.
There is no disparity in God and no one deserves to be hurt. Jesus had already taken our pains and hurt on the cross, there is no need to feel any hurt as far as Jesus had already paid the price for your hurt as a woman.
2. Leviticus 20:13
“If a man lies with a male as with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination; they shall surely be put to death; their blood is upon them.”
Leviticus 20:13 (ESV)
This Bible portion is talking about the level of same-sex immorality that is ongoing today among married men. This acclaimed ‘new normal’ is recking so many homes and most wives are hurt.
Husbands committing adultery whether with the same sex or with the opposite sex is causing unending hurt to their wives and the complications such acts burden on the once-happy homes cannot be overemphasised.
When men are fully aware of this scripture and redress their steps, every home shall be reunited and hurts shall varnish.
3. 1 Corinthians 6:9-11
“Or do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived: neither the sexually immoral, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor men who practice homosexuality”
1 Corinthians 6:9-11 (ESV)
Sexual immorality has been presented here not only as a major cause of broken homes, hurt and disharmony, but it also shows that offenders shall not inherit the kingdom of God.
It is time for couples to unite as a family, understand this scripture, repent and seek forgiveness from God for their past mistakes. It is also pertinent for such husbands to show total repentance to their wives and seek their forgiveness.
With this, every form of hurt and wound shall be healed and the family shall be reunited in Christ.
4. Ephesians 5:25-29
25. “Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her. 26. That he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word. 27. So that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish. 28. In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. 29. For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church”.
Ephesians 5:25-29 (ESV)
Husbands are instructed to love their wives unconditionally, just lIke Jesus Christ Loves the Church and presented his life as a sacrifice.
Christ didn’t withhold anything as it concerns the Church, he gave it all, this is “the greatest of all love for a man to give his life for his friends”, John 15:3.
Jesus has shown an example of how husbands should love and treat their wives to avoid hurting women in the union. Unconditional love as presented by Christ tells husbands to make the comfort and safety of their wives a priority above their comfort.
When this kind of Christ’s love is being practiced in a marriage, marriages will portray biblical tenets about marriage and every woman that has been hurt shall heal from all her discomforts, pains and emotional trauma.
What causes Hurt in Women?
1. Polygamy
1 Timothy 3:1-2
1. “The saying is trustworthy: If anyone aspires to the office of overseer, he desires a noble task. 2. Therefore an overseer must be above reproach, the husband of one wife, sober-minded, self-controlled, respectable, hospitable, able to teach”.
1 Timothy 3:1-2 (ESV)
As Christians who aspire to serve in the house of God and have stable and godly homes, the above scripture itemised the qualities expected of godly husbands.
Ranking top is “the husband of one wife” polygamy has destroyed lots of women and the children suffer the brunt of such unstable, competitive and repulsive homes.
A greater percentage of women in polygamous homes feel unwanted and unloved, neglected and worthless. These negative energies from the mother robe off the children and this escalate to the larger society.
Polygamy is a plaque that eats up the fabric of a peaceful and harmonious family, it should be avoided at all costs in the 21st century.
2. Divorce
Malachi 2: 13-16
“13 And this have ye done again, covering the altar of the LORD with tears, with weeping, and with crying out, insomuch that he regardeth not the offering any more, or receiveth it with good will at your hand. 14 Yet ye say, Wherefore? Because the LORD hath been witness between thee and the wife of thy youth, against whom thou hast dealt treacherously: yet is she thy companion, and the wife of thy covenant. 15 And did not he make one? Yet had he the residue of the spirit. And wherefore one? That he might seek a godly seed. Therefore take heed to your spirit, and let none deal treacherously against the wife of his youth. 16 For the LORD, the God of Israel, saith that he hateth putting away: for one covereth violence with his garment, saith the LORD of hosts: therefore take heed to your spirit, that ye deal not treacherously”.
The above Bible verses condemn divorce and crowned it up with God hating divorce. Divorce comes with unenvisaged negativity and societal stigmatisation has drained most divorced women to the point of either attempting suicide or committing suicide.
The scripture is not only warning husbands against divorce, but it is also advising them against maltreating their wives and subjecting them to domestic violence, torture and hatred.
Divorce amounts to a betrayal of trust and it breeds hurt, renders a financially unstable woman homeless and opens her up to public criticism, exposes her to scornful treatment, and disdainful comments.
3. Lack of love in a Union
Ephesians 5:25
“Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her.”
Ephesians 5:25 (ESV)
Love is the wheel that propels every relationship, be it friendship, marriage, or acquaintance.
Lack of love in marriages puts the home in disarray, and causes hurt in a marriage, even in a relationship. Love from a man in a relationship can make a woman glow in such a home.
A man should make a woman feel loved, wanted and appreciated, else, she’s hurt, and emotionally drained.
4. Death of the Husband
Ruth 1:13-14
“13. Would you therefore wait till they were grown? Would you therefore refrain from marrying? No, my daughters, for it is exceedingly bitter to me for your sake that the hand of the LORD has gone out against me.”14 Then they lifted up their voices and wept again. And Orpah kissed her mother-in-law, but Ruth clung to her”.
Ruth 1:13-14 (ESV)
Losing a loved one is one of the natural occurrences that throws one into mourning. The death of one’s husband can be so hurting if not properly managed may lead to depression.
The above Bible verses presented a picture of Ruth when she lost her husband and two sons whose demise led her two daughters-in-law in grief and agony.
It is necessary to grieve the best way one can when losing a husband but the scripture also instructs us not to mourn like unbelievers as the dead in Christ shall resurrect and reunite with their loved ones on the resurrection morning – on rapture day.
5. Lack of care for Members of the Household
1 Timothy 5:8
“But if any provide not for his own, and especially for those of his own house, he hath denied the faith, and is worse than an infidel”.
1 Timothy 5:8 (KJV)
The Bible made it an obligation for a man, being the head of a family to provide and meet up with the basic needs of her family at all times. Failure to meet up with this mandate amounts to denying the Christendom faith.
When the family’s needs are not met, the negative effect is on the wife. And lack of ability to proffering solutions to family’s needs contributes to the hurt most women feel in marriage.
Although women are also expected to contribute within their power for a stable and harmonious home, these needs are not only limited to finances.
These include decision-making on where to reside, decisions on children’s education, healthcare policy and even extended family concerns.
6. Lack of Self-confidence on the Wife’s Side
1 Corinthians 11:10
“That is why a wife ought to have a symbol of authority on her head, because of the angels.”
Proverbs 31 itemised the qualities of a woman – wife. A wife must be purposeful, and adventurous, and adorn herself with confidence that steams from the word of God.
Her husband, children and even society must feel her impact spiritually, emotionally and even financially.
Lack of confidence is self-inflicted hurts most women put in their lives. Self-love and personal development should be the driving force for every wife.
Every woman should place value and worth on herself and every form of low self-esteem shall fly off every possible opening. No woman should let anyone tell them what they’re not. You can only handle this when you know your self-worth.
7. Lack of Appreciation
Romans 16:1-2
“1. I commend to you our sister Phoebe, a servant of the church at Cenchreae. 2. That you may welcome her in the Lord in a way worthy of the saints, and help her in whatever she may need from you, for she has been a patron of many and of myself as well”.
Everyone needs to be appreciated when one good deed and the other is done. Women need appreciation for the enormous tasks they perform at home for a serene and peaceful home.
Women are the engine room of every home, appreciation is a spur for more good works and when a woman’s sacrifice for the family goes unnoticed, it hurts and demoralises her spirit.
Husbands and family members should learn the act of appreciation not only for the wife but every household member deserves to be appreciated for their selfless contributions towards the growth and stability of the family.
8. Inability to Decipher the will of God
Genesis 2:18
“Then the LORD God said, “It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper fit for him.”
Seeking God’s direction while choosing a life partner is one obligation every woman must undertake before saying ‘Yes I Do’ on her big day.
There must be some levels of compatibility between spouses to build a godly home and raise godly children and avert any party being hurt in the union.
Picking the wrong spouse has thrown some unlucky women into depression, some have lost their focus in life and they are living in total regret. Husbands should allow their wives the opportunity to fulfil their purposes in a marriage and the society at large.
The man’s ability to decipher the purpose of a woman in a relationship and allow her to play her role perfectly will make her feel loved and important.
Some of the Women in the Bible that Were Hurt
There were some women in the Bible that felt hurt by the circumstances of life they faced and most of them came out victorious and strong through the help and mercy of God.
There were lots of them but I will mention the following four, because of the peculiarity of their circumstances.
1. Hagar
Genesis 21:16-17
16. Then she went and sat down opposite him a good way off, about the distance of a bowshot, for she said, “Let me not look on the death of the child.” And as she sat opposite him, she lifted up her voice and wept.17. And God heard the voice of the boy, and the angel of God called to Hagar from heaven and said to her, “What troubles you, Hagar? Fear not, for God has heard the voice of the boy where he is”.
Genesis 21:16-17 (ESV)
2. Hannah
1 Samuel 1:10-11
10. She was deeply distressed and prayed to the LORD and wept bitterly.11. And she vowed a vow and said, “O LORD of hosts, if you will indeed look on the affliction of your servant and remember me and not forget your servant, but will give to your servant a son, then I will give him to the LORD all the days of his life, and no razor shall touch his head.”
1 Samuel 1:10-11 (ESV)
3. Naomi
Ruth 1:14
“Then they lifted up their voices and wept again. And Orpah kissed her mother-in-law, but Ruth clung to her.”
Ruth 1:14 (ESV)
4. Esther
Esther 4:16
“Go, gather all the Jews to be found in Susa, and hold a fast on my behalf, and do not eat or drink for three days, night or day. I and my young women will also fast as you do. Then I will go to the king, though it is against the law, and if I perish, I perish.”
Esther 4:16 (ESV)
Conclusion
The holy book – Bible in strong terms condemns all forms of maltreatment, violence and abuse against women. Some women face various degrees of hurt including physical harm, domestic violence and emotional torture.
The scripture in Proverbs 6 listed things that are detestable to the lord and “hands that shed innocent blood” ranked top. Husbands are expected to love their wives as themselves and prioritize their basic needs, comfort and security above their comfort.
Some situations made women vulnerable to hurt such as divorce, lack of care and love, death of one’s husband and picking an incompatible spouse.
There were also women in the Bible who suffered hurts emanating from different life circumstances, yet they were strong and resilient women who pulled through their trying moments with the help of God they were: Hagar, Hannah, Naomi, Esther and others.
